It is with heartfelt gratitude and remembrance that we honor the life and legacy of Toby Arenberg, one of the visionary parents whose determination, compassion, and unwavering advocacy helped lay the foundation for what is now Jay Nolan Community Services.
In the early 1970s, Toby was part of a small but passionate group of parents involved with the Autism Society of Los Angeles who believed their children deserved more opportunities, services, and support than what was currently available. Faced with a scarcity of programs for individuals with autism, these families refused to accept the status quo. Instead, they came together with a shared vision: to create a better future for their children and others like them.
That vision became reality in 1975, when Toby Arenberg and her fellow parents helped establish the organization that would eventually become Jay Nolan Community Services. Working alongside other founding families and board members, Toby devoted countless hours to building programs, securing funding, navigating the complexities of nonprofit formation, and creating meaningful opportunities for people with autism. What began as a Saturday program serving just 11 children would grow into an organization that has supported thousands of individuals and families over the last five decades.
Toby’s contributions extended far beyond the organization’s earliest programs. Recognizing the need for sustainable funding, she played a pivotal role in launching the organization’s groundbreaking telethons. After traveling to Toronto, Canada with fellow advocate Harvey Lapin to learn how similar events were organized, Toby returned inspired and determined to make it happen in Los Angeles. She volunteered to chair the telethon committee and poured her energy into planning every detail: from securing the venue and coordinating logistics to cultivating relationships with celebrities, media partners, and community supporters.
The telethons became a defining part of the organization’s history and a powerful source of awareness and funding. In true family fashion, the effort involved not only Toby but her entire family. One of the most memorable moments came when Toby’s daughter, Ilene, performed during a telethon. Her beautiful singing captivated audiences, and donations began pouring in immediately after her performance. Ilene became a cherished part of the event year after year, helping inspire generosity and belief in the organization’s mission.
Perhaps one of Toby’s most lasting contributions was helping to give the organization its name. Understanding the importance of a meaningful identity, Toby reached out to actor Lloyd Nolan and asked for permission to name the organization after his son, Jay, who was autistic. Lloyd Nolan was honored by the request and became an enthusiastic supporter. Thanks to Toby’s initiative, the organization adopted the name Jay Nolan Community Services, a name that continues to reflect its commitment to dignity, opportunity, and community inclusion.
Throughout her years of service, Toby Arenberg remained a dedicated board member, advocate, and supporter of the organization she helped create. Her efforts helped build not only programs and services, but also a community rooted in hope, determination, and the belief that every person deserves the opportunity to thrive.
Today, Toby’s legacy lives on through the thousands of individuals and families whose lives have been touched by Jay Nolan Community Services. It lives on in the programs she helped create, the opportunities she helped make possible, and in every person who continues to benefit from the vision she shared with other founding families more than fifty years ago.
Reflecting on those early days, Toby once said:
“Little by little, I guess it just got into our heads. This is what we’re going to do, this is what we’re going to make.”
What Toby and her fellow founders made was far more than an organization. They created a movement of advocacy, acceptance, and possibility that continues to change lives today.
We extend our deepest condolences to Toby’s family, friends, and all who knew and loved her. We are forever grateful for her leadership, her dedication, and her belief in a better future for people with autism.
Thank you, Toby. Your legacy will continue to make an impact for years to come.
